In the last post (part 1) we looked at how High Achieving women can end up staying in business / professional situations or with people that they should let go of but don’t know how. Without going to deeply in depth, I encouraged you to do some soul searching about which of your past situations . Now I’d like to reflect on your current situation. Are you stuck in a professional situation or connection that is no longer serving you? For many women this may look like
-Serving on a committee that no longer matches your values-Being in a leadership role that you no longer have the capacity to serve in-Staying connected with partner you don’t get along with-Holding a position that isn’t using the best of your gifts and strengths
Or what is the situation for you? Either way, you KNOW things are off and you can feel them. Ladies, one of the gifts we have is our intuition and gut feeling. Unfortunately, guilt, denial, and wrong perceptions can get in the way. But when you are brave enough to listen to your gut and share your thoughts with a trusted advisor or confidant it will go a long way to help you sort out what you need to do. Because sitting in a situation or fostering a relationship that doesn’t serve you only steals your energy and focus that can best be applied to something or someone else.
So how do women take their power back and break connections that no longer serve them? Simply put- you have to “learn how to walk away”. Now I know there are some situations you can’t easily walk away from due to legal ramifications and such. But I’m referring to those where it’s only misguided emotional attachments that are holding you back. For women, the decision to walk away tends to be a highly emotional one and I want to encourage you to look at it more logically. Ladies, I think we make these situations FAR HARDER than they should be especially compared to our male counterparts, which lead a little less from emotion. I don’t mean to be crass or insensitive but sometimes turning down your emotions and maintaining a more objective focus will help you sort through what you should do. Ending something doesn’t mean you’ve necessarily failed. Keep in mind, everything you do is a risk and doesn’t come with a guarantee. So when your decision to join an organization, or start a partnership, or invest money into an initiative doesn’t pan out, it’s time to accept the reality, loss, etc.—–and then it’s time to have an exit strategy. So that walking away doesn’t feel like abandonment or a breach of your word here is a checklist to help you process whether you should say or go with the connection (person or entity) in question:
Here are a few questions to ask yourself.
Empowered Decision Questionnaire:
- Does _______________ serve my professional goals?
- Am I able to use the best of my Values and gifts to benefit _________________?
- Is my committment to _____________________ reasonable and isn’t overly costing more (money, time energy) than I can reasonably commit?
- Is my connection with/to _________________________ beneficial to me and my well being?
- Does my affiliation/connection to _______________________align with my brand?
- My emotional state when I’m connected and interacting with ________________________ one of calm, low-stress and
If you answered NO to at least 4 of these questions then that is a major red flag and sign you need to reevaluate your connection and relationship further.
Remember, making the decisions that are right for you is a way to take YOUR POWER BACK. So many times women are focused on making other people happy and people-pleasing that they forget about their own goals, feelings, and happiness. Next post we will examine how guilt can play a role in sabotaging you from owning and using your own power.
Question for you (please leave in the comments) Do you find it challenging or easy for you to “walk way”?
