There is no other message that gets drilled into our minds more than to finish things. When you’re young it’s “finish your meal” before you go play, “finish the season” on the little league basketball team, then we’re told to “finish High School”, and so on and so forth. Finishing is often tied a lot to noble qualities like integrity, honor, and commitment. And those are all important qualities that will help determine and shape your success professionally and in life. But what happens when staying to finish things does more harm than good? Where does the strength and confidence come when you need to just walk away? We’ll examine that further.
Women are often inundated with messages that pressure them to finish things. These messages can be reinforced by family and society. Our brains are wired in such a way that we pick up subconscious messages all of the time and rarely know they are present. These messages can play “on a loop” in our heads and dictate our actions. These kinds of thoughts can sound like “I have to stay on my job because I don’t want to let the team down”, ” I can’t possibly commit to personal care or “me time” because I need to finish up my ever-growing task list” or my favorite “It won’t get done if I don’t do it? I have to see this to the end”. Yes, it’s important to be strong and committed but I will be bold in saying that oftentimes this way of thinking can leave women tethered to things that no longer serve them and ultimately erode their soul and spirit. High Achieving women have to be smarter at noticing when they have reached their limits and need to let go. They need to learn how to WALK AWAY. As the saying goes “if it costs you your peace it is too expensive”. Aside from peace what is struggling to let go costing you?
And when I encounter those women through coaching, personal connection or otherwise I can’t do anything but feel so much compassion for them. This is one of the reasons I love to coach high-achieving women and help them regain their freedom. I understand their plight all too well as I used to be one of them. It took me a few years to realize that exhaustion and overwhelm aren’t merit badges. And that the highest level of service doesn’t mean you have set unrealistic goals and put the needs of others continually above yourself. I recall a situation where I had a particularly difficult time walking away. I decided to work with a non-profit organization. I’d taken the position with the best intentions of helping others and having a third income to that of my full-time job and side business. Things were great at first but when the requirements changed work with the group proved to be too much. In the mounting pressure, I was barely keeping things together, stressing myself out and it was spilling over to my home life. It took a while but I finally got to the place where I had enough. If only I had the common sense to arrive there sooner, right? In the end, everything worked out and I was actually commended by the organization president on how I help my ground. It inspired him since he had to have a similar talk with his supervisor in a few weeks.
Personal Reflection
What about you? Do you recall a time in your professional life where you held on too long and should’ve let go? What did it end up costing you? If you were able to walk away what did you gain? If you had to do things all over again what would you do differently?If you need to walk away now, what’s stopping you?
****In the next post(s) we will examine WHY high achieving women struggle to walk away and HOW to make the choices that help you transition and better serve your goals.
