I came downstairs one morning and all I remember was gasping and freezing in fear. In the corner of the wall, right next to the front door was a huge spider, and I’m not playing it was pretty big (likely a Hunstman, non-venomous) that had been caught in a smaller spider’s web. To my chagrin not only was there one spider but 2. I don’t have an irrational fear of spiders but 16 legs between 2 insects is just WAY too much LOLLLL. I clenched the side of the stairs keeping a safe distance from that corner. And I carried on like this for 3 days in my house—in my house. Every time I went downstairs I quickly walked by that corner eye-balling the spider that had taken up residence there. I know what you’re saying—why don’t you just spray her with bug spray and get rid of her? Why didn’t you just try to sweep her outside (my preferred method since I really didn’t want to kill her)? Why didn’t you let your husband handle it?—which he usually does. But no, I did none of those things—I was WAY too intimidated to try anything and AVOIDANCE seemed like the best route. And trust me I know how ridiculous and silly this all sounds. For goodness sake, the spider is just a fraction of my size, about the size of my thumbnail. She’s tiny in size compared to me but yet I let myself be overpowered by something with very little overall control.
Now you may be laughing at me–which I wouldn’t blame you a bit–but I’d have to admit you’re probably just like me and can relate. Let’s translate this whole idea of “intimidation” to our professional careers. How many times have you had to do something “seemingly small” but allowed it to intimidate you? How many times have you had to just write one email or make that one call and was completely intimidated? It was just a call or an email! Such a tiny thing. But like me with the spider, when fear is all you can see it intimidates you from doing the little things. And oftentimes it’s experiencing failure or the threat of it is just enough to keep us mentally imprisoned.
There are people who have deferred their dreams over the little things like this. They are still waiting to apply for a business license, they are still waiting to book the meeting that could put them in line for a raise, they are still waiting to send that email to a person they want to collaborate with. Or they’re still waiting to do that Facebook Live or Instagram post to connect with their audience. Intimidation and fear are real, I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that. For many of us, it isn’t the BIG decisions stopping us but the small ones. But those small ones are the doorway to bigger opportunities that we are robbing ourselves of.
If this has been you then all is not lost. There are definitely ways to overcome this type of fear and put things back into perspective so you’re not wasting your time fretting for naught. Here are 4 helpful tips that will help you kick these minuscule fears to the curb:
1. Put things into perspective: Is what you’re fretting over as big as it seems or is it just a “thumbnail size amount of fear”? Look at the task in comparison to the benefits it could bring. If the ROI is worth the risk then go for it. Write a quick pro’s and con’s list if you’re a visual processor.
2. Put your feelings in check: Trust me as wonderful as feelings are the last thing that you want dictating all of your decisions is your feelings. We know that your emotions can be fleeting and unpredictable. You can be happy and sad all in 5 minutes. So they can’t always be trusted. Oftentimes our emotions can amplify the situation more than is necessary. If you’re in a heightened state of emotion, try to calm down before thinking through your situation. Better decisions are made with a clearer head.
3. Look for the bigger underlying Issue: Oftentimes the issue we think exists is hiding behind another issue. Maybe for you, it’s the struggle with perfectionism and because of that, you won’t complete a task unless you can ensure it’s completely perfect (I know all about that since that was my Achilles heel in years past). Maybe it’s self-sabotage and you don’t feel you deserve to move forward so you come up with every reason or distraction not too. If you’re unsure of why you keep ending up in this situation then definitely connect with a wise coach or mentor to help give you some perspective. I’m here if you need such help!
4. Get sound advice: Stuck in your head? You should seek wise counsel. You’re not the only person who has been at this crossroad. This is why it’s great to have a Mentor, Coach, friend or all 3 (smile). The right people can ask you the right questions to help you get clarity quick so you’re not agonizing over small decisions and fears.
So now is the part where you get to take ACTION. What is that ONE small thing you’ve been putting off doing due to fear, a past failure or the fear of failure? You know the one. It just popped up in your mind. I want you to write down a plan to get it done, preferably in 3 steps or less. Research shows that people are most likely to do the things that they write down. After writing it down you have 48 hours to make it happen. Take Quick action! Let me know how it goes in the comments below. I’m rooting for you!
