How Are you Framing Your Snapshots of Failure?

A picture isn’t always worth a thousand words. They can also hide so many details in plain sight. Case in point, this picture (the one with me looking at my laptop intensely along with some other people) was taken as I was preparing to go before an audience and speak for a big event and my entire presentation disappeared. That’s right—for the first time in my history of speaking, I didn’t have a presentation. Somehow the file got corrupted and wasn’t accessible. Did I mention that this happened an hour before I had to speak in front of a large group? Now it was my fault that the one time I didn’t bring a backup this would happen. But needless to say, for a good 50 minutes my presentation was limbo. Fortunately, with the help of a colleague, we were able to download an older version (thank you God!) and I was making corrections finishing 2 minutes before I stepped on the stage. And despite all of the hoopla, I went on to give a pretty phenomenal talk to some phenomenal people. Crisis averted!

Workplace issues are common and unavoidable. Think of all the many things that can go wrong in the workplace. It’s always great when things work seemingly well but of course, we all know that won’t always be the case. So every time we dodge a mishap in the workplace it’s major. Do you remember the last time you were staring a HUGE challenge in the face and at the last minute the issue was resolved without disaster? That’s the best feeling in the world, isn’t it? It literally feels like the weight of an elephant was lifted off of your chest. It’s a sigh of unbelievable relief.

But what about the mishaps that you experience that you don’t get to dodge? What about the situation (s) that makes you feel like you were run over by a stampede of elephants? Major failures are by far the hardest to forget. It’s like our brain takes a snapshot of such failures and holds on to them. And long after they’ve passed, every once in a while they resurface and you’re reminded of the pain and distress all over again. And boy aren’t the memories vivid, right? This “snapshot of failure” can be deeply hurtful because it’s a picture that we can’t easily get out of our minds and forget. We all have them. And if we’re honest, there is a stack of photos in our mind—documenting our workplace failures over time.  These chaotic situations are oftentimes harder to live down and harder to forget. 

It’s rarely talked about but, a common workplace hurt is those that are self-inflicted and the result of our failure. In a lot of ways, these can be even more traumatic and devastating –especially when they are internalized and ruminated on—consciously and subconsciously. Many times, these situations are more painful because of their complex emotional layers, the extent to which they influence others, impact outcomes, etc. They can easily “bleed” into other situations. For example, a leader who previously fumbled an opportunity to secure a contract with a vendor may hesitate to pursue a new opportunity with the same vendor due to fear or embarrassment.

So in our thinking this month on the theme of “Navigating Hurt in the Workplace” it’s important for us to address the internal failures that we all carry that contribute to the hurt we experience in the workplace. Oftentimes they go ignored or we fear we can be seen as weak when we admit to the past challenges we’ve faced and how they’ve hurt us. You may feel tempted to “check out” when it comes to your pain and to push through it but that is harmful.  Because there is no scenario where carrying your past failures around like an old Polaroid to haunt you is helpful. It’s time for you to ditch the old photo album of traumatizing memories.

Tired of being haunted by past failures? Are you ready to transform that snapshot of failure into something productive? It’s not an easy journey, but it’s possible. Here’s how:

1. Grieve It

First, allow yourself to feel the emotions associated with the failure(s). Hurt, anger, disappointment—all of it is valid. Acknowledging these feelings is not a sign of weakness but of strength. Grief has 5 parts that’s essential to work through: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. It can be helpful to work with a coach or therapist on this. Grieving helps you process and begin to heal.

2. Make Peace with It

Once you’ve grieved, work towards accepting what happened. Take time to REALLY look at the snapshot. Understand that failure is a natural part of growth and learning. It’s not about denying or excusing the failure, but about making peace with the fact that it happened and that you can move forward.

3. Share the Snapshot

Sometimes, when we hold onto these memories alone, they fester. Sharing your story with a trusted colleague, mentor, or friend can be incredibly freeing. They might even offer a perspective you hadn’t considered, or simply provide the support you need to release the emotional weight. Heck, they may even have a “few snapshots” to share with you themselves. It’s important to know you’re not in this alone.

4. Find the Lesson

Every failure, no matter how painful, carries a lesson. I love the old saying that goes “I didn’t fail, ….I learned!” What did your failure teach you about yourself, your work, or your approach? Digging deep to uncover this insight can transform that painful snapshot into a valuable resource for future success.

5. Turn Lessons into Wisdom

Once you’ve learned from your experience, share it. This is the next level of sharing. By being open about your failures, you can inspire and empower others who might be facing similar challenges. Your story could become someone else’s survival guide.

Reflective Questions:

• What is a “snapshot of failure” that you have difficulty letting go of?
• What emotions surface when you think about it?
• How have you, or can you, use this experience to grow and succeed?

Snapshots of failure don’t define us unless we let them. Instead, they can become reminders of our resilience, strength, and capacity to overcome challenges. The power lies in how we choose to frame these moments—as burdens, or as stepping stones. Which will you choose?